People don't want to make better choices, they want to make shitty choices and then complain about the shitty outcomes
From a tweet by Visa
This is obviously true about the big decisions in life, which are so overwhelming that it becomes easier to run away from them and blame one's circumstances, but what is surprising is how it applies to even the smallest decisions.
For instance, I have seen people walk into a restaurant, knowing full well how much they would have to pay for the food, and then complain that it was too expensive afterwards. The meme where someone on a bicycle puts a spoke in their wheel, falls and then complains about everyone and everything but themselves barely feels like an exaggeration sometimes.
One big reason for that habit of complaining seems to be that people can be so boring that they do not have anything else to say, and feel compelled to fill the silence with complaints, which are far easier to relate with than anything else. No need to be a good storyteller, or make discerning observations about the other, or be an interesting person, or even be vulnerable, when you can just complain about the situation you are in. It's rather sad, but like many hollow social dynamics, it's better to focus on being a better person rather than spend one's time describing it too precisely.
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2025-01-30